my life is getting even crazier day by day. my father died. my mom randomly has these wierd phases in whcvh she just cant stop scolding me. plua i am a hundred % sure that i wont make the css upgrade rn cuz i have got no idea on how i can do that... also i just am tired of shit in general, and i am lonely.... everybody has someone who could take came of them when life gets tough, i dont. i cant talk to my mom due to all this stuff, i dont want to talk to my sister cause she's little and a self *bitch who thinks she's the only one who is suffering from all the shit happening. mom's friends console her and mom. but i have one person oly to calm me the fuck down... and that's myself. i cant talk to my so-called friends because thwey are bunch of insensitive umotherfuckers. the only people i could talk to about this shit is an introverted girl from another section but srhe's too scared to talk irl plus i cant say this stuff over chat, and my previous s.st teacher... and the man who recharged wifi is dead so i dont 8internet unless i beg my mother for it and get lecturred for so long that by the time she's done the only things i an think about are my failures as a brother, as a friend and as a son.i wasnt able to shed a single fucking tear when i did all the funeral ceremonies, i wasnt sad at all but anxious. and tired, like god himself has planted the devil in me cuz deep inside me he was there laughing out loud... me sometimes laughing aliong with him... man i dont know how death of a person far away from people breaks them down sometimes, but his death was not deppressing, not evemn when toppings of wailing and cryiong all around me are added to this devils paradise pizza. but it feels so tiring altogether .but i cant tell anyone anything. just because i dont cry, people think i don* Just because i can lift it doesnt mean its not heavy...